I totally fucked up today.
I went in for an interview at CVS, and when asked how long I was planning to stay there, I stupidly said, "Probably about six months." I mean, who goes to fucking CVS Pharmacy intending to stay there for the rest of their lives? I figured I would have a week's worth of training, tops, bum around there and save some money up, and quit when I found something better. But they were looking for something a bit more long-term, so I was just told upfront that I wasn't going to get the job. Which I honestly appreciate because I've been jerked around by almost every place I've interviewed at.
When my mom asked me how things went, I told her and she told me I'd screwed up. My dad chewed me out for a good twenty minutes. I feel so stupid. I should have just lied. But I wasn't thinking and instead of licking this guy's asshole and telling him what he wanted to hear, I was honest.
I'm so fucking tired of this shit. Sure, I don't apply for every job that pops up online, but I apply for what I think I'm qualified for. I'm tired of both my parents bitching at me because I can't find a job. I've really been trying, but there are things I just can't do. And if I have to go back to Publix I'll fucking end up killing myself, I just know it. I wanted to when I worked there before. There are few things in the world that I can't handle, and being treated like I'm stupid or unworthy of basic human respect, and I got both in spades when I was just a cashier. People assume that because you're running a register you must be a Goddamned idiot, but that was my first job and I was fucking SEVENTEEN. What the fuck else am I supposed to do?
It's just like when I was working at Trade Secret and when I was in cosmetology school. Everyone seems to assume that you become a hairdresser because you're too fucking stupid to do anything else, and that isn't true for most of us. There are only a handful that I've known that were in school with me because they couldn't hack community college, or their rich mommies and daddies were threatening to cut them off. I wanted to do something I could be artistic with. But I was in for a rude awakening because most of the time you end up doing the same three haircuts on EVERYBODY. Seriously, I can do a long-layered cut in my sleep.
Today didn't start off too great, either. I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I had terrible cramps and my stomach was upset, so I only got about three or four hours of sleep before my mom woke me up to... well, just to make me get up. She wakes up at 4 AM so she doesn't understand that not everybody is on her whacked-out, old person sleep schedule. I don't think my mom is old, but she's on the same time clock as retirees living in Boca Raton. And she worked from home today, which I HATE because I don't get five minutes to myself when she's at home.
Sorry, I know this is a total pity-party but I had a really shitty day.