I've GOT to stop reading these conspiracy theory websites.

For real. I've been getting obsessed and that is NEVER a good thing.

Some of the things I've read are completely batshit crazy, and the rest is... Well, it's possible.

Sunday night, I read a blog (that I now follow, just to read more and keep up) that is pretty much solely dedicated to unearthing something about the Beatles that is widely believed to be a hoax. Now, my entire life, I was sure the whole "Paul is dead" backmasking thing (more on that here) was just a rumor. Turns out the backmasking IS there, but there are more details I didn't know about. Some quotes:

• "Paul is dead- miss him miss him miss him"
• "Turn me on, dead man"
• "I need some wheels, help me help me help me"
• "Something wrong with my eye" (allegedly Paul was shot through the eye)
• "Worst of all he's in the dark chills, remember this please" (they left the body and had to retrieve it later)
• "Paul took the wrong road" (didn't want to go along with the drug-pushing)
• "He said, 'Get me out, get me out', Paul is Paul is Paul is Hare Krishna it seems Paulie is bloody"
• "Ask the law, Paul is dead, done, lost his head, ask the walrus damn he is dead"

That isn't something I normally put a lot of stock in, but some of those come in crystal clear, so it has to be a bit intentional.

Supposedly, Paul McCartney (the real one) either died in a car accident (which really happened, he crashed his Aston Martin) or he was taken somewhere by someone and shot. His alleged replacement is the man we know as Paul McCartney from August of 1966 onward. There are photo comparisons, vocal analyses, and even fingerprints that don't match. The fake Paul, or "Faul" as he's known on the internet, is believed to be a Canadian policeman named Bill Shepperd, who sang on the White Album. He's the "Billy Shears" that the song "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" refers to.

The worst thing is that the evidence to support the theories is really compelling.

For example, in the very first color pictures of the Beatles, you can clearly see that Paul's eyes were brown. Even in hard light when they'd appear a bit brighter, they were still brown. Nowadays, Paul has green eyes. We've got colored contacts, but did those exist in 1966? I don't really know- one site said 1887 (doubtful) and another said 1981 (sounds right). Case in point:

 His eyes are so dark a brown they're almost black.

As for Bill:

Clearly different. As are his eyebrows- Paul's were wider and had more of a gentle curve, whereas Bill's were shorter, thinner, and much more angular.

The entire facial structure is different, as well. It might be argued that he lost some of his baby fat and it was a result of aging. But one article even mentioned that his palate is wider than when the Beatles first debuted, which, if he were to have undergone surgery to correct his narrow palate, he would've been out of commission for at least a year and he would've suffered a great deal.

So we come to it: Paul VS. "Faul".

The picture on the right is from when "Faul", AKA Billy Shears, AKA Bill Shepperd was first being introduced. For a while, he was just a stand-in when Paul was sick and couldn't perform. There are existing pictures of them both wearing the same outfit on the same day, but it's clearly two different people. This picture, however, has been altered to blur the lines a bit further. This has been done with videos as well.

This is the Paul McCartney we know today. It may be the same person as above, but there may have been multiple "Fauls". This is Billy Shears as well.

The difference here is... astonishing. That couldn't possibly be the same guy. There's only three years' difference between those two shots, and the guy on the right looks ten years older at least!

It's not as hard as you would think to find someone who looks and sounds like another person. Think about Jim Sturgess, "Jude" from the Across the Universe movie. His voice sounds reasonably McCartney-ish, and take a look at him:

Granted, he looks more like Bill than Paul. But the next picture is better.

If that doesn't look like Paul McCartney, I'll go outside right now and eat a gallon of beach sand.

And here we have him in action:

The song actually starts approx. 2:15 in, but the rest is context so it might be worth a view if you haven't seen the movie.

But see? It's not that big a deal.

If it comes to light that this is real, that it's 100% true... I can't even tell you how heartbreaking that would be. Words can't express how much that would hurt. Not just for me, but for the millions of fans who were brought joy by the music these men made together. It might literally kill my mother- I've been dying to discuss it with her but if she sees this stuff and believes it? I couldn't do that to her. I'll let her live in ignorance.

I mean, there are only three things that I've consistently loved my whole life- Sailor Moon, chocolate, and the Beatles. I always kinda thought of them as my uncles, I grew up loving them so much- I even got to visit Uncle Paul at work! Or at least I think I did... And when George Harrison died, my mom told me and I cried for almost an hour. I knew, even at the age of twelve, that the world had lost a truly beautiful person, inside and out. If he had a double (he may have, he suddenly developed a unibrow and his chin looked a wee bit longer into the 70's) he definitely had the least detectable. Save for Ringo's, but let's be honest, who was going to notice anyway? He's Ringo. Very few people, except for hardcore Beatles fans, really gave two shits about the stuff Ringo wrote.

There is some debate as to whether it was the real John Lennon or the double that was killed in 1981. I honestly don't know. But if Paul, George, and Ringo had all been replaced by that point, then certainly John had. And the double was giving interviews that hinted at something- "Everything isn't really what it is, is it?" He may have been eliminated because he was starting to talk. Imagine how the world would've reacted to that! How different things would be if some group controlling the music industry had been exposed. I'm sure that things like that are going on still.

Of course, this also paints the whole Heather Mills situation in a different light. She dragged Paul McCartney's name through the mud for a while after their divorce, but she stopped suddenly. She also talked about a box of evidence that, if she were to be offed, would be opened by the friend who was taking care of it (she never said who) and the contents would be taken to the authorities. I never believed that he would do the things she said he did. Paul McCartney wouldn't. Bill Shepperd might.

I don't know what to believe. But, like I said before, if it's true, it's beyond heartbreaking. We love you, Paul- the real one.

I can't wait to leave this town.

Today, while heading into Wal-Mart to buy a couple of things, I was harassed.

Some skinny redneck, couldn't have been older than 25, was sitting in the bed of his pickup, and when I got out of my car and started for the door, he yelled "Hey, sexy!" at me.

Now, this might not bother other people, but I can't take a real compliment let alone sexual harassment so I yelled "Fuck off!" over my shoulder.

I got my shopping done and went back out to my car- it couldn't have been longer than ten minutes- and he was still out there. He said, "sorry for the disrespect". I said, "Yeah, I'm sure you're real sorry."
"Hey, I was just trying to be nice to your ass!'
"Go fuck your sister, you inbred!" I got in my car, drove to the other side of the parking lot, and went inside to tell someone so that they'd be aware that someone was harassing customers. By the time someone went looking for him, he'd left, but now they know.

This isn't as bad as when G.I. Joe propositioned me, but it's still pretty upsetting. I don't invite that sort of thing- by my age group's standards, I might as well dress like the Church Lady. And it's not like there aren't thousands of smaller, skinnier, cuter girls for him to bother. They'd probably like it.

And this just cements my distaste for guys around my age. That's it. Nobody under 27. If I have to be alone for a few more years then so be it, but I won't deal with anybody who treats me like a piece of property. I may be young but I most certainly am not stupid.

Nobody respond to that last statement...