Thursday, January 6, 2011

On mistakes and movie theatre etiquette

Well, I had a trying day.

I have to return the clippers that I bought because they only came with two guards- apparently whoever made the decision about the whole package thought it a good idea to include a shitty pair of shears and a ton of clipper oil but only enough guard combs to do a high-and-tight, a military cut. HOW did I not see that beforehand, on the box? So I'm taking the stupid things back on Monday, since I have to work tomorrow and the next day, and I won't be getting off work until the place is closed.

On top of that, I did NOTHING. All. Day. Long. No walk-ins on a Thursday is INSANE.


Yesterday, I went to see Black Swan and I have two words:


That was the most intense, frightening movie I've ever seen. It was incredible and if SOMEONE involved doesn't walk home with an Oscar I'll be very surprised. Natalie Portman... I've always known she was talented but she really blew my mind. And Mila Kunis left That 70's Show in the dust years ago, but this just cements her place in Hollywood. I think we can expect great things from her. Even Winona Ryder was decent.

The opening scene is EXTREMELY important. It's a dream sequence, like much of the movie is, where Nina (Natalie Portman) is dancing the part of the White Swan and transforming into the Black Swan. This part, I will admit, choked me up for some reason. It was visually beautiful and that on top of the music just wound me up somehow. But there are clues where you can pick up on things that happen later (no spoilers, sorry, you'll have to watch!) and I felt physically ill through most of the film, for a number of reasons. It's very rare that my concentration is held through an entire movie, but I didn't drift AT ALL. I couldn't, for the same reason you can't look away from a train wreck. And upon leaving the theatre, I felt haunted and really shaken in a way I hadn't been in a long time. Please, put aside all the hype, and go see this amazing movie. It's truly an experience.

But I'd like to take this opportunity to address something about the movie-going experience (lame term, I know) that has bothered me for ages, and a lot, because I see movies all the time, as my reader(s) may or may not know. I haven't felt so frustrated by my fellow audience members since I saw Across the Universe and heard people laughing during that depressing "Let it Be" sequence where the kid dies. Yesterday, I had an older couple sitting behind me, which, first off, Black Swan isn't a movie that's aimed at an older crowd. I know for a fact that they paid less than me (they were ahead of me in line and got the senior discount) so why they felt it was alright to talk the whole time, when the rest of us had paid more and were trying to pay attention, I have no idea. I haven't had to ask anyone to be quiet in a VERY long time. The man was hacking up half of one of his lungs, SOMEBODY was crossing and uncrossing their legs and kicking the entire row of seats... Ugh.

And no, I couldn't move. In the smaller theatres, which are still large, there's more of an incline and I only have a three-row window where I'll still be able to see because if I'm too close, I have to crane my neck and I get a massive headache, and if I'm too far up, it's like watching a TV screen. Not to mention my farsightedness that makes things... complicated, especially in 3-D movies (but that's another post).

So anyway, pretty much everyone else was acting like a douche canoe and talking and laughing at the end, which... I mean, even if you thought it was ridiculous, there was nothing funny. Nothing. It wasn't like The Last of the Mohicans (*puke*) where that girl jumps off a cliff for no reason.

I don't know, maybe I was just all hormonal and ultra-sensitive, but I was pissed. It's like interrupting someone while they're meditating- I'm trying to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel everything that I can, and I like to immerse myself fully into whatever I'm watching. When that gets disrupted, repeatedly... I'm not a happy camper.

Well, that's all I have to say for now. Later.

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