Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I really should've seen this coming.

I lost my job today.

Just before I finished getting ready to leave for work, I got a call from a girl at the salon. She told me that my boss was on the phone but I needed to come get my stuff because they were letting me go.

I had a meltdown on the way there and talked to my boss before I did anything. She told me that I needed to be an assistant, but nobody was willing to take one, for whatever reason. She would've taken me had she not already had an assistant, and two more waiting. It'll be a year before she's freed up, and I need help NOW. Really, really badly. I know I'm not a great stylist and I probably never will be, but I at least want to be decent and in order to get there I need serious education.

This blows. I really felt like I could've gotten the help I needed there and they don't have the money to pay me or anyone who will teach me. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'm so tired of trying to look for a job doing something that I know I'm not that good at.

Sometimes I think I should just quit. Just be a minimum-wage slave for the rest of my life. It sure as Hell would involve a lot less rejection and heartache. I'll admit it, I'm a wimp. I'm a total quitter. At least I admit it.

I'm thinking of trying to find a job at Disney World. It seems like it would be a lot of fun. Sure, there would be screaming kids everywhere, but it's a big park and when I was there in October there was a surprising... quietness, despite the large number of people there. Even if I was just serving hot dogs at the Hollywood Studios park, or selling merch at Downtown Disney, I think I'd be much happier than I am now, swimming against an impossible current. So I've signed up to get email alerts about new jobs. I don't have enough keeping me here in Panama City, and hey, if you get far enough (like, ten minutes worth of driving) away from the theme parks, Orlando is almost exactly like Marietta, GA, where I spent five years of my life.

Maybe that will work out. Nothing else seems to, but maybe if the job isn't too demanding, I can handle it.


  1. What skills are you lacking if you're a licensed cosmetologist? How did you graduate without being at least decent at what you're doing?

    I'm not asking this to me rude or anything like that. I sincerely want to know what it is that you're lacking in order to take you to the next level as a stylist.

  2. Well, you're basically only taught how to pass the state board test in school. The rest is pretty much learn-as-you-go. For example, we spent three days total, test and review included, on the makeup chapter in our book. That's useful information, because a lot of us had a serious interest in it, but they didn't think it was important. So we spent two weeks on learning what perms do, even though one week was quite enough, and there were three separate chapters on diseases. And anatomy, why the Hell did we need to know that? I have no reason to study all the names of all the bones in the human body.

    This is why I wanted to assist before I became a stylist, but nobody would hire me when I was fresh out of school because I didn't have my license (the first one), and then they wouldn't hire me because it took so damn long to get my license and they took that to mean my skills weren't up to par... which doesn't matter if you're assisting. It's a vicious cycle.