Sunday, August 15, 2010

First post!

Well... Here, anyway. I have another blog, but it's mostly where I go and bitch about everyday things that happen to me and I have like one reader.

I thought I would use this one as an opportunity to semi-anonymously talk about my sexuality, It's something I've thought a lot about the last few years- I only figured out how to masturbate when I was sixteen- and I've been learning things about myself in the process.

To name a few:

Last summer, I realised, rather anticlimactically, that yes, I do like girls. Big fucking deal. I still prefer men, but damn if I haven't seen quite a few ladies in the last few years that were drool-worthy in my mind. The catalyst that made me discover this? I was reading a magazine. Fader, to be exact, a feature on Bat For Lashes. I never made a secret of the fact that I thought Natasha Khan was beautiful, but this... felt different. I paid a lot more attention to the slight curves in her slender body, the swell of her small, plump breasts, the lovely bow of her perfect lips... And the thought ran across my mind, "I want her." Perfectly casual, and not at all scary or confusing. I wanted to kiss her, to suck and lick and play with her pretty little tits, to find out if she was shaven or not. And I've never looked back.

I also have a BIG thing for older men. My ideal man? Benicio Del Toro. I first came upon that particular realisation when I went to see The Wolfman back in February. I had just gotten my lip pierced (had to take it out a couple of months later, it rejected) and I was holding a piece of ice on the inside of my mouth, leering at him in his heavy, multi-layered, Victorian finery the same way I would have if he'd been completely naked. I had never really found him attractive before, but all of a sudden I was having these crazy sex fantasies about him. Now I've widened his range of roles in my dreams (both day and night) because I've seen more of his movies. And usually, he's got completely gray hair. I think he's totally sexy with gray hair, and I'm not sure why because it's not something I really find attractive in other men (well... that's not entirely true, but I usually only like gray in pieces) but on him it's sexy as Hell.

And fuck you if you don't like that about me. That goes for all my friends that give me shit about it. You can keep your weird, girlish pretty-boys, I'll take my gray-haired manly man any day. If I wanted to fuck someone who looked like a woman I would just fuck a woman.

I'll write more when I'm not about to pass out in exhaustion. Later!

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