I have problems, I just know it.

The latest addition to my Stable of Fantasy Dudes: Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

 First off, I know that a lot of people get Jeffrey here and Javier Bardem mixed up. I did the first time I saw a preview for Eat Pray Love, but that was just a glance. The picture below is from a blog where the girl writing was basically saying that she can't tell a difference between the two of them, even when concentrating.

 Um... Really? Because I could name SEVERAL.

 Well, let's just take a look.

Aside from their eyes being different colors, and their noses, eyebrows, lips, jawlines, and hairlines being completely different... Oh, wait.

You could make a case for Jeffrey looking like Jeremy Piven, I guess, but that's not something I like thinking about because... Eww. Seriously.

Anyway... I first ran across him when I saw Watchmen and absolutely fell in love. I know that the Comedian was a total asshole but God was he sexy. Something about him made me giggle like an excited schoolgirl. I texted my friend Pinkie when I left the movie theatre and told her she had to check it out, because not only was it an awesome movie but there's also a drool-worthy actor in it. What can I say? I was excited.

Admittedly, I didn't think about him much after that. I did when The Losers came out, but I didn't see it. Still haven't. I didn't have the time, I was trying to get ready to move. I don't have a good excuse now.

Nope. No good excuse. Jesus, what's WRONG with me!?

 Aww... Dimples! I love dimples. I think they're so cute.

 Oh, yes...

Most of what I know about him is surprisingly unimpressive. He played the dad on Supernatural, although you'd think those two guys playing the lead characters would look better had they really been his sons. Neither of them would even pass for his nephew- stuff like that bothers me and I know it's stupid but when you can REALLY tell they're not related... Anyway. I saw ONE episode while I was in high school, and I won my reputation as a freak when I stated plainly, when asked which guy I thought was cuter by an over-eager classmate who'd been trying to get me to watch it because I'm "really good with all that stuff"; "Well, I thought their dad was a lot better-looking." And that was the first time I ever heard "daddy issues" thrown my way.

The other night, I ran across a video on YouTube of him on Craig Ferguson's show and I ended up watching ALL OF THEM. I was trying to stay up cos I had to drive my mom and my stepdad to the airport at 4 AM and it was great to have found something that kept my interest enough to keep my ass awake.

Well, I went to the Red Box in front of Walgreens today and rented The Losers, since I was returning a DVD to Netflix (Johnny Suede, this old Brad Pitt movie with Nick Cave playing an albino rock star named Freak Storm. Oh my GOD it was such a bad movie but it was fun.) and I won't be getting another until probably Saturday.

I think I may need to rent it again. It was fucking AWESOME but I don't think I paid enough attention to it because I can't remember what exactly was going on the whole time. I was distracted for a number of reasons, but I loved it and think I may want to own it.

In any case, you know that you've got a problem when you can't watch a movie with a dude you're attracted to without, as soon as he appears onscreen, you saying out loud, "Hey, baby..." and then proceeding to halfway zone out through the whole thing. Maybe I've just been a little too involved with myself lately.

First post!

Well... Here, anyway. I have another blog, but it's mostly where I go and bitch about everyday things that happen to me and I have like one reader.

I thought I would use this one as an opportunity to semi-anonymously talk about my sexuality, It's something I've thought a lot about the last few years- I only figured out how to masturbate when I was sixteen- and I've been learning things about myself in the process.

To name a few:

Last summer, I realised, rather anticlimactically, that yes, I do like girls. Big fucking deal. I still prefer men, but damn if I haven't seen quite a few ladies in the last few years that were drool-worthy in my mind. The catalyst that made me discover this? I was reading a magazine. Fader, to be exact, a feature on Bat For Lashes. I never made a secret of the fact that I thought Natasha Khan was beautiful, but this... felt different. I paid a lot more attention to the slight curves in her slender body, the swell of her small, plump breasts, the lovely bow of her perfect lips... And the thought ran across my mind, "I want her." Perfectly casual, and not at all scary or confusing. I wanted to kiss her, to suck and lick and play with her pretty little tits, to find out if she was shaven or not. And I've never looked back.

I also have a BIG thing for older men. My ideal man? Benicio Del Toro. I first came upon that particular realisation when I went to see The Wolfman back in February. I had just gotten my lip pierced (had to take it out a couple of months later, it rejected) and I was holding a piece of ice on the inside of my mouth, leering at him in his heavy, multi-layered, Victorian finery the same way I would have if he'd been completely naked. I had never really found him attractive before, but all of a sudden I was having these crazy sex fantasies about him. Now I've widened his range of roles in my dreams (both day and night) because I've seen more of his movies. And usually, he's got completely gray hair. I think he's totally sexy with gray hair, and I'm not sure why because it's not something I really find attractive in other men (well... that's not entirely true, but I usually only like gray in pieces) but on him it's sexy as Hell.

And fuck you if you don't like that about me. That goes for all my friends that give me shit about it. You can keep your weird, girlish pretty-boys, I'll take my gray-haired manly man any day. If I wanted to fuck someone who looked like a woman I would just fuck a woman.

I'll write more when I'm not about to pass out in exhaustion. Later!