I lost my job today.
Just before I finished getting ready to leave for work, I got a call from a girl at the salon. She told me that my boss was on the phone but I needed to come get my stuff because they were letting me go.
I had a meltdown on the way there and talked to my boss before I did anything. She told me that I needed to be an assistant, but nobody was willing to take one, for whatever reason. She would've taken me had she not already had an assistant, and two more waiting. It'll be a year before she's freed up, and I need help NOW. Really, really badly. I know I'm not a great stylist and I probably never will be, but I at least want to be decent and in order to get there I need serious education.
This blows. I really felt like I could've gotten the help I needed there and they don't have the money to pay me or anyone who will teach me. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'm so tired of trying to look for a job doing something that I know I'm not that good at.
Sometimes I think I should just quit. Just be a minimum-wage slave for the rest of my life. It sure as Hell would involve a lot less rejection and heartache. I'll admit it, I'm a wimp. I'm a total quitter. At least I admit it.
I'm thinking of trying to find a job at Disney World. It seems like it would be a lot of fun. Sure, there would be screaming kids everywhere, but it's a big park and when I was there in October there was a surprising... quietness, despite the large number of people there. Even if I was just serving hot dogs at the Hollywood Studios park, or selling merch at Downtown Disney, I think I'd be much happier than I am now, swimming against an impossible current. So I've signed up to get email alerts about new jobs. I don't have enough keeping me here in Panama City, and hey, if you get far enough (like, ten minutes worth of driving) away from the theme parks, Orlando is almost exactly like Marietta, GA, where I spent five years of my life.
Maybe that will work out. Nothing else seems to, but maybe if the job isn't too demanding, I can handle it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
On mistakes and movie theatre etiquette
Well, I had a trying day.
I have to return the clippers that I bought because they only came with two guards- apparently whoever made the decision about the whole package thought it a good idea to include a shitty pair of shears and a ton of clipper oil but only enough guard combs to do a high-and-tight, a military cut. HOW did I not see that beforehand, on the box? So I'm taking the stupid things back on Monday, since I have to work tomorrow and the next day, and I won't be getting off work until the place is closed.
On top of that, I did NOTHING. All. Day. Long. No walk-ins on a Thursday is INSANE.
Anyway...
Yesterday, I went to see Black Swan and I have two words:
HOLY. SHIT.
That was the most intense, frightening movie I've ever seen. It was incredible and if SOMEONE involved doesn't walk home with an Oscar I'll be very surprised. Natalie Portman... I've always known she was talented but she really blew my mind. And Mila Kunis left That 70's Show in the dust years ago, but this just cements her place in Hollywood. I think we can expect great things from her. Even Winona Ryder was decent.
The opening scene is EXTREMELY important. It's a dream sequence, like much of the movie is, where Nina (Natalie Portman) is dancing the part of the White Swan and transforming into the Black Swan. This part, I will admit, choked me up for some reason. It was visually beautiful and that on top of the music just wound me up somehow. But there are clues where you can pick up on things that happen later (no spoilers, sorry, you'll have to watch!) and I felt physically ill through most of the film, for a number of reasons. It's very rare that my concentration is held through an entire movie, but I didn't drift AT ALL. I couldn't, for the same reason you can't look away from a train wreck. And upon leaving the theatre, I felt haunted and really shaken in a way I hadn't been in a long time. Please, put aside all the hype, and go see this amazing movie. It's truly an experience.
But I'd like to take this opportunity to address something about the movie-going experience (lame term, I know) that has bothered me for ages, and a lot, because I see movies all the time, as my reader(s) may or may not know. I haven't felt so frustrated by my fellow audience members since I saw Across the Universe and heard people laughing during that depressing "Let it Be" sequence where the kid dies. Yesterday, I had an older couple sitting behind me, which, first off, Black Swan isn't a movie that's aimed at an older crowd. I know for a fact that they paid less than me (they were ahead of me in line and got the senior discount) so why they felt it was alright to talk the whole time, when the rest of us had paid more and were trying to pay attention, I have no idea. I haven't had to ask anyone to be quiet in a VERY long time. The man was hacking up half of one of his lungs, SOMEBODY was crossing and uncrossing their legs and kicking the entire row of seats... Ugh.
And no, I couldn't move. In the smaller theatres, which are still large, there's more of an incline and I only have a three-row window where I'll still be able to see because if I'm too close, I have to crane my neck and I get a massive headache, and if I'm too far up, it's like watching a TV screen. Not to mention my farsightedness that makes things... complicated, especially in 3-D movies (but that's another post).
So anyway, pretty much everyone else was acting like a douche canoe and talking and laughing at the end, which... I mean, even if you thought it was ridiculous, there was nothing funny. Nothing. It wasn't like The Last of the Mohicans (*puke*) where that girl jumps off a cliff for no reason.
I don't know, maybe I was just all hormonal and ultra-sensitive, but I was pissed. It's like interrupting someone while they're meditating- I'm trying to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel everything that I can, and I like to immerse myself fully into whatever I'm watching. When that gets disrupted, repeatedly... I'm not a happy camper.
Well, that's all I have to say for now. Later.
I have to return the clippers that I bought because they only came with two guards- apparently whoever made the decision about the whole package thought it a good idea to include a shitty pair of shears and a ton of clipper oil but only enough guard combs to do a high-and-tight, a military cut. HOW did I not see that beforehand, on the box? So I'm taking the stupid things back on Monday, since I have to work tomorrow and the next day, and I won't be getting off work until the place is closed.
On top of that, I did NOTHING. All. Day. Long. No walk-ins on a Thursday is INSANE.
Anyway...
Yesterday, I went to see Black Swan and I have two words:
HOLY. SHIT.
That was the most intense, frightening movie I've ever seen. It was incredible and if SOMEONE involved doesn't walk home with an Oscar I'll be very surprised. Natalie Portman... I've always known she was talented but she really blew my mind. And Mila Kunis left That 70's Show in the dust years ago, but this just cements her place in Hollywood. I think we can expect great things from her. Even Winona Ryder was decent.
The opening scene is EXTREMELY important. It's a dream sequence, like much of the movie is, where Nina (Natalie Portman) is dancing the part of the White Swan and transforming into the Black Swan. This part, I will admit, choked me up for some reason. It was visually beautiful and that on top of the music just wound me up somehow. But there are clues where you can pick up on things that happen later (no spoilers, sorry, you'll have to watch!) and I felt physically ill through most of the film, for a number of reasons. It's very rare that my concentration is held through an entire movie, but I didn't drift AT ALL. I couldn't, for the same reason you can't look away from a train wreck. And upon leaving the theatre, I felt haunted and really shaken in a way I hadn't been in a long time. Please, put aside all the hype, and go see this amazing movie. It's truly an experience.
But I'd like to take this opportunity to address something about the movie-going experience (lame term, I know) that has bothered me for ages, and a lot, because I see movies all the time, as my reader(s) may or may not know. I haven't felt so frustrated by my fellow audience members since I saw Across the Universe and heard people laughing during that depressing "Let it Be" sequence where the kid dies. Yesterday, I had an older couple sitting behind me, which, first off, Black Swan isn't a movie that's aimed at an older crowd. I know for a fact that they paid less than me (they were ahead of me in line and got the senior discount) so why they felt it was alright to talk the whole time, when the rest of us had paid more and were trying to pay attention, I have no idea. I haven't had to ask anyone to be quiet in a VERY long time. The man was hacking up half of one of his lungs, SOMEBODY was crossing and uncrossing their legs and kicking the entire row of seats... Ugh.
And no, I couldn't move. In the smaller theatres, which are still large, there's more of an incline and I only have a three-row window where I'll still be able to see because if I'm too close, I have to crane my neck and I get a massive headache, and if I'm too far up, it's like watching a TV screen. Not to mention my farsightedness that makes things... complicated, especially in 3-D movies (but that's another post).
So anyway, pretty much everyone else was acting like a douche canoe and talking and laughing at the end, which... I mean, even if you thought it was ridiculous, there was nothing funny. Nothing. It wasn't like The Last of the Mohicans (*puke*) where that girl jumps off a cliff for no reason.
I don't know, maybe I was just all hormonal and ultra-sensitive, but I was pissed. It's like interrupting someone while they're meditating- I'm trying to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel everything that I can, and I like to immerse myself fully into whatever I'm watching. When that gets disrupted, repeatedly... I'm not a happy camper.
Well, that's all I have to say for now. Later.
Monday, January 3, 2011
What a day...
Ugh. I thought I was going to lose my job today.
I went in for a totally optional makeup class at the salon this morning, and it was fun, what little we actually got to do- it was just me, the makeup girl (also my boss' twin sister), and three girls that were already there. After we'd disbanded, my boss called me into her office to discuss a haircut she'd had to intercept on Friday. I hadn't done a swing bob in the better part of a year and I had already asked for help doing a style, I thought I should at least try to do it on my own. This woman had monstrously thick hair (made mine look thin by comparison, and my friends at school referred to my hair as my "pelt" cos it was so thick) and for some reason I didn't think to shampoo her hair and blow-dry it straight before attempting this ridiculous haircut.
Anyway, it ended up a bit too short and the client actually had to come back in to get it worked on some more the next day. I felt terrible and actually had a screaming, crying, fist-pounding breakdown while I was driving home. I was so scared that I was going to get fired, because I'm used to fearing for my job.
The boss-lady was super nice about everything and made a point to tell me that I wasn't in trouble, because 1) she knew I was trying my hardest, 2) she felt I could be taught, and 3) that's a really hard cut to do. It's really big around here so I'll probably get plenty of practice, but I've only done it maybe three or four times before. I told her that I had been worrying about it, thinking I was going to get fired, and that the only reason it upset me was that I like it there. Which is, without a doubt, 100% true. I feel so lucky to be there, I've only worked at that salon for two weeks and I already have formed more of a connection there than I did the entire time I worked at Trade Secret. I would be so horrified if I lost that job.
She and I talked for a few more minutes before I left, feeling a lot better about my situation. I couldn't ask for a better scenario than the one I've found- education is a big thing there and that's exactly what I need. And everyone's so nice, I could probably ask anyone for help and they'd gladly do what they could.
So... There was that.
I also, while running some errands after all that, thought about what to do with my hair. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be at Bath and Body Works and my hair grows crazy-fast, so I think I'll be working up some designs for future haircolor- I want to dye some of my hair, not much, blue-black, and maybe put a chunk of Enchanted Forest back in there because that is my absolute favorite color EVER and I was so sad to dye over it. I'm sure I'll have a few minutes while at work tomorrow to sketch some things out.
Anyway... That's about it. I'll post again when I have more to say.
I went in for a totally optional makeup class at the salon this morning, and it was fun, what little we actually got to do- it was just me, the makeup girl (also my boss' twin sister), and three girls that were already there. After we'd disbanded, my boss called me into her office to discuss a haircut she'd had to intercept on Friday. I hadn't done a swing bob in the better part of a year and I had already asked for help doing a style, I thought I should at least try to do it on my own. This woman had monstrously thick hair (made mine look thin by comparison, and my friends at school referred to my hair as my "pelt" cos it was so thick) and for some reason I didn't think to shampoo her hair and blow-dry it straight before attempting this ridiculous haircut.
Anyway, it ended up a bit too short and the client actually had to come back in to get it worked on some more the next day. I felt terrible and actually had a screaming, crying, fist-pounding breakdown while I was driving home. I was so scared that I was going to get fired, because I'm used to fearing for my job.
The boss-lady was super nice about everything and made a point to tell me that I wasn't in trouble, because 1) she knew I was trying my hardest, 2) she felt I could be taught, and 3) that's a really hard cut to do. It's really big around here so I'll probably get plenty of practice, but I've only done it maybe three or four times before. I told her that I had been worrying about it, thinking I was going to get fired, and that the only reason it upset me was that I like it there. Which is, without a doubt, 100% true. I feel so lucky to be there, I've only worked at that salon for two weeks and I already have formed more of a connection there than I did the entire time I worked at Trade Secret. I would be so horrified if I lost that job.
She and I talked for a few more minutes before I left, feeling a lot better about my situation. I couldn't ask for a better scenario than the one I've found- education is a big thing there and that's exactly what I need. And everyone's so nice, I could probably ask anyone for help and they'd gladly do what they could.
So... There was that.
I also, while running some errands after all that, thought about what to do with my hair. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be at Bath and Body Works and my hair grows crazy-fast, so I think I'll be working up some designs for future haircolor- I want to dye some of my hair, not much, blue-black, and maybe put a chunk of Enchanted Forest back in there because that is my absolute favorite color EVER and I was so sad to dye over it. I'm sure I'll have a few minutes while at work tomorrow to sketch some things out.
Anyway... That's about it. I'll post again when I have more to say.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Well, I have some news!
I am currently typing on my new laptop that my dad got me for Christmas! I'm so excited, it even has a webcam!
When I get done installing everything and setting things up, I'll write more.
When I get done installing everything and setting things up, I'll write more.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
So... Sleepy...
I'm so tired.
I have no right to be this exhausted- I only did two bang trims- but yet I am. At least I can get in the bed earlier and get up in the morning because I have to be back at the salon at 9 AM.
Did I fail to mention that I got a job at a salon? Cos I totally did. I'll be working three or four days a week, to fill out my schedule, since I work so little at Bath and Body Works.
Anyway... I'll be writing more soon. I'm eagerly awaiting my first package from Shiro Cosmetics and I'll be working so... Yeah.
I have no right to be this exhausted- I only did two bang trims- but yet I am. At least I can get in the bed earlier and get up in the morning because I have to be back at the salon at 9 AM.
Did I fail to mention that I got a job at a salon? Cos I totally did. I'll be working three or four days a week, to fill out my schedule, since I work so little at Bath and Body Works.
Anyway... I'll be writing more soon. I'm eagerly awaiting my first package from Shiro Cosmetics and I'll be working so... Yeah.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Well, damn.
I don't know if you guys heard about it, but some crazy shit went down last night in Panama City and I was about ten minutes or so away when it happened.
A man went into the Bay County school board meeting with a gun, spray-painted a red "V" inside a circle on the wall, and started talking about how his wife had lost her job. After firing several times and missing everyone at the meeting, he was shot twice by a security guard and then he killed himself.
This has everyone in town pretty freaked out. I think the main fear is that more incidents like this are going to happen as the economy gets worse.
More info here.
A man went into the Bay County school board meeting with a gun, spray-painted a red "V" inside a circle on the wall, and started talking about how his wife had lost her job. After firing several times and missing everyone at the meeting, he was shot twice by a security guard and then he killed himself.
This has everyone in town pretty freaked out. I think the main fear is that more incidents like this are going to happen as the economy gets worse.
More info here.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Hey! I made a post, finally!
I've actually had stuff going on, I just haven't really found words for it yet.
I got to work on Saturday (only three and a half hours but it's better than no hours, and I've got nine this week, hopefully) and I had an interview a few hours before that. On Friday I have a practical interview at Belissimo Salon, and I think that'll go okay. Maybe I'll have more money coming in by the new year.
I got my last package from Aromaleigh on Saturday, as well. It was bittersweet because I was excited about the new eyeshadows, but I can't get any more either. I have about $60 left on my prepaid card that my first paycheck went to (I'm not sure where my next will go, since I didn't get a paycheck cos I haven't worked since Black Friday) and around $30 in my bank account (Jesus, does that EVER change!?) so I'll make it another couple of weeks. It's just frustrating because I definitely wouldn't have ordered a pair of glass gauge plugs and a clear retainer if I'd known my hours for that week (my five measly hours!) would be cut. Hopefully I get to keep my hours this weekend and pick up some more during the holidays. It'll give me an excuse to not travel.
Today (well, yesterday, now) was the beginning of a ten-year-old family tradition my mom started years ago, the Twelve Days of Christmas. We each (my brother and I, that is) get a small present every day until Christmas Day when we get the big stuff. It's usually a used book or movie, or an exotic candy bar, or in my case, art supplies. It's a lot of fun. Today, I got Hush by Asobi Seksu- occasionally we'll get a CD or DVD in there. Today was one of those days.
Tomorrow I think I'll get my car's oil changed, go check my schedule and make sure I know what days and times I'm supposed to be at work, and see the new Narnia movie. I need something to kill a couple of hours so my mom won't bother me for not leaving the house.
I also need to make a concerted effort to find that Netflix sleeve so I can mail Mouth to Mouth back and get my next DVD. I have no idea where the damn thing went.
By the way, the last movie I got, Second Skin, was one of the most frustrating films I've ever seen. The main character had to be the least appealing human ever to be onscreen in a supposedly romantic movie. You're supposed to sympathize with a man who cheats on his wife with another man, yet you just feel bad for his wife and his lover on the side because they both love him so much and he's so wrapped up in his own "Oh poor me" routine that he ends up hurting them both. I actually was a bit relieved when he died in a motorcycle crash, that's how much I wanted to not watch him anymore. Why did I continue, you ask? Because I love Javier Bardem, and I also really like wotserface (she played Ofelia's mother in Pan's Labyrinth). I wanted to see how things panned out for them. Javier's character, Diego, the lover, was so sweet and he even risked his career for Roberto, even after the guy lied to him constantly and treated him like shit. Roberto acted like a spoiled, insolent child most of the time. A spoiled-insolent child with a raging boner- be warned if you decide to watch this, there is almost nothing that can prepare you for the unexpected, out-of-left-field man-lovin' in the FIRST TEN MINUTES. And he treated his wife even worse- apparently he didn't care about how an affair might affect his marriage, or his young son, for that matter.
Ugh. Sorry, I hate movies that are like that, where you just hate whoever you're watching and pray for them to die.
Anyway... I might have more to say tomorrow, but I've gotta go to bed. Later.
I got to work on Saturday (only three and a half hours but it's better than no hours, and I've got nine this week, hopefully) and I had an interview a few hours before that. On Friday I have a practical interview at Belissimo Salon, and I think that'll go okay. Maybe I'll have more money coming in by the new year.
I got my last package from Aromaleigh on Saturday, as well. It was bittersweet because I was excited about the new eyeshadows, but I can't get any more either. I have about $60 left on my prepaid card that my first paycheck went to (I'm not sure where my next will go, since I didn't get a paycheck cos I haven't worked since Black Friday) and around $30 in my bank account (Jesus, does that EVER change!?) so I'll make it another couple of weeks. It's just frustrating because I definitely wouldn't have ordered a pair of glass gauge plugs and a clear retainer if I'd known my hours for that week (my five measly hours!) would be cut. Hopefully I get to keep my hours this weekend and pick up some more during the holidays. It'll give me an excuse to not travel.
Today (well, yesterday, now) was the beginning of a ten-year-old family tradition my mom started years ago, the Twelve Days of Christmas. We each (my brother and I, that is) get a small present every day until Christmas Day when we get the big stuff. It's usually a used book or movie, or an exotic candy bar, or in my case, art supplies. It's a lot of fun. Today, I got Hush by Asobi Seksu- occasionally we'll get a CD or DVD in there. Today was one of those days.
Tomorrow I think I'll get my car's oil changed, go check my schedule and make sure I know what days and times I'm supposed to be at work, and see the new Narnia movie. I need something to kill a couple of hours so my mom won't bother me for not leaving the house.
I also need to make a concerted effort to find that Netflix sleeve so I can mail Mouth to Mouth back and get my next DVD. I have no idea where the damn thing went.
By the way, the last movie I got, Second Skin, was one of the most frustrating films I've ever seen. The main character had to be the least appealing human ever to be onscreen in a supposedly romantic movie. You're supposed to sympathize with a man who cheats on his wife with another man, yet you just feel bad for his wife and his lover on the side because they both love him so much and he's so wrapped up in his own "Oh poor me" routine that he ends up hurting them both. I actually was a bit relieved when he died in a motorcycle crash, that's how much I wanted to not watch him anymore. Why did I continue, you ask? Because I love Javier Bardem, and I also really like wotserface (she played Ofelia's mother in Pan's Labyrinth). I wanted to see how things panned out for them. Javier's character, Diego, the lover, was so sweet and he even risked his career for Roberto, even after the guy lied to him constantly and treated him like shit. Roberto acted like a spoiled, insolent child most of the time. A spoiled-insolent child with a raging boner- be warned if you decide to watch this, there is almost nothing that can prepare you for the unexpected, out-of-left-field man-lovin' in the FIRST TEN MINUTES. And he treated his wife even worse- apparently he didn't care about how an affair might affect his marriage, or his young son, for that matter.
Ugh. Sorry, I hate movies that are like that, where you just hate whoever you're watching and pray for them to die.
Anyway... I might have more to say tomorrow, but I've gotta go to bed. Later.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Care to watch me beat a dead horse?
I'm not sure what's been up with me lately.
I've been up and down so many times that I'm getting dizzy. I see something funny, like a movie or something, and it puts in a good mood, then the internet goes down, then it comes back up, then I order Christmas presents, then I order some eyeshadow (my last order from Aromaleigh, I swear!), then I feel guilty, then I get depressed because of something else, then I lose my class ring (still haven't found it, by the way), it just never stops.
I haven't worked since Black Friday, either. My hours were cut yesterday. I don't know when I'll get in again, or when I'll find another job to supplement my income, or if I'll get any more commissions so I can make some money that way... And it doesn't help that my mom is constantly screaming at me because I haven't found anything yet. It's like August and September all over again.
You know how sometimes, you just crave contact with another person, and there's nobody around that you want contact with? I miss having male friends so much. I hated being thrown into a sea of oestrogen when I started cosmetology school- I was drowning in it. When I occasionally would have a guy friend to spend time with, I always felt so much better. I really wish I still had some male energy that doesn't involve a family member to surround myself with. I miss the zero-bullshit conversation, and the fact that I could say ANYTHING and it wouldn't shock them, aside from the fact that they couldn't believe a "good girl" like me would say anything like that. When I was seventeen, and I was around my friends, every other word out of my mouth was "fuck". I don't have that liberty anymore. Now I have to pick and choose who I say certain things to and it's so annoying because it's just a word, you know? We're all adults here, get the fuck over it.
But unfortunately, I can't make things go back to the way they were when I was seventeen. I'm just feeling nostalgic for when my life didn't completely suck shit, I guess. Right now, I feel alone, friendless. And nobody I could tell that to would care. My mom always gives me that old "I don't see my friends either" line (Did any of her friends ditch her and get pregnant by a convicted felon? No.), my brother doesn't speak to his friends much either, and nobody returns my phone calls. I have left no less than thirty voicemails on Pinkie's phone and she hasn't called me back, even after I called her at work and asked her to give me a ring when she got home. I shouldn't have held my fucking breath. I mean, all I wanted was an update, to make sure she was okay, because she hadn't called me in nearly two months. God forbid I should worry, when that former meth addict she hooked up with hates my guts (likewise, motherfucker) and now that she's moved back in with her parents I may not hear from her at all. Especially after she has the baby, and that's only a month or so away.
I know this is an old issue and I shouldn't keep harping on it. Sorry about that.
I've been in a bad mood pretty much all day today. No matter what I did, I couldn't really shake it. I always (and I know this sounds crazy but it's 100% true) have bad days when I don't wear that damn ring. I don't feel right. I'm very aware of it being missing. Probably because it's heavier by itself than the three other rings I'm currently wearing altogether. I know it's here, I just have no idea where to begin... I've already looked in one area and I know it isn't there, and that leaves a good 2/3 of the room unexplored.
I think tomorrow I'll make a run to Target, stop by Bath and Body Works to check my schedule (the ACES website is being a bitch and always gives me a blank screen, so I can't check that way), and then come home and just tear my room apart. It's the only way to find a small object.
Okay... Shutting up now. Later, dudes.
UPDATE!!! Herff-Jones, the company I got my class ring from, has a warranty program that lasts up to six years! It's been four since I got my ring! I may get a new one anyway! Crossing my fingers, dudes!
I've been up and down so many times that I'm getting dizzy. I see something funny, like a movie or something, and it puts in a good mood, then the internet goes down, then it comes back up, then I order Christmas presents, then I order some eyeshadow (my last order from Aromaleigh, I swear!), then I feel guilty, then I get depressed because of something else, then I lose my class ring (still haven't found it, by the way), it just never stops.
I haven't worked since Black Friday, either. My hours were cut yesterday. I don't know when I'll get in again, or when I'll find another job to supplement my income, or if I'll get any more commissions so I can make some money that way... And it doesn't help that my mom is constantly screaming at me because I haven't found anything yet. It's like August and September all over again.
You know how sometimes, you just crave contact with another person, and there's nobody around that you want contact with? I miss having male friends so much. I hated being thrown into a sea of oestrogen when I started cosmetology school- I was drowning in it. When I occasionally would have a guy friend to spend time with, I always felt so much better. I really wish I still had some male energy that doesn't involve a family member to surround myself with. I miss the zero-bullshit conversation, and the fact that I could say ANYTHING and it wouldn't shock them, aside from the fact that they couldn't believe a "good girl" like me would say anything like that. When I was seventeen, and I was around my friends, every other word out of my mouth was "fuck". I don't have that liberty anymore. Now I have to pick and choose who I say certain things to and it's so annoying because it's just a word, you know? We're all adults here, get the fuck over it.
But unfortunately, I can't make things go back to the way they were when I was seventeen. I'm just feeling nostalgic for when my life didn't completely suck shit, I guess. Right now, I feel alone, friendless. And nobody I could tell that to would care. My mom always gives me that old "I don't see my friends either" line (Did any of her friends ditch her and get pregnant by a convicted felon? No.), my brother doesn't speak to his friends much either, and nobody returns my phone calls. I have left no less than thirty voicemails on Pinkie's phone and she hasn't called me back, even after I called her at work and asked her to give me a ring when she got home. I shouldn't have held my fucking breath. I mean, all I wanted was an update, to make sure she was okay, because she hadn't called me in nearly two months. God forbid I should worry, when that former meth addict she hooked up with hates my guts (likewise, motherfucker) and now that she's moved back in with her parents I may not hear from her at all. Especially after she has the baby, and that's only a month or so away.
I know this is an old issue and I shouldn't keep harping on it. Sorry about that.
I've been in a bad mood pretty much all day today. No matter what I did, I couldn't really shake it. I always (and I know this sounds crazy but it's 100% true) have bad days when I don't wear that damn ring. I don't feel right. I'm very aware of it being missing. Probably because it's heavier by itself than the three other rings I'm currently wearing altogether. I know it's here, I just have no idea where to begin... I've already looked in one area and I know it isn't there, and that leaves a good 2/3 of the room unexplored.
I think tomorrow I'll make a run to Target, stop by Bath and Body Works to check my schedule (the ACES website is being a bitch and always gives me a blank screen, so I can't check that way), and then come home and just tear my room apart. It's the only way to find a small object.
Okay... Shutting up now. Later, dudes.
UPDATE!!! Herff-Jones, the company I got my class ring from, has a warranty program that lasts up to six years! It's been four since I got my ring! I may get a new one anyway! Crossing my fingers, dudes!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
I lost my class ring today.
That may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but I've worn that stupid thing every day for four years. I don't feel right without it.
I know it's somewhere in my room- it slipped off my finger when I was digging for a clean pair of socks or trying to find my sneakers or something. All I know is I was wearing it and then I wasn't- I had it on the wrong hand because my hands were swollen (I've been retaining a lot of water), and when the swelling went down my ring fell off.
Also... It was the only piece of jewelry I owned that was worth anything. I paid $635 for it- it was white gold, had a special cut, and, for some reason, it cost more to NOT get the antique finish, which is weird. The stone was alexandrite, and I loved it because it changed colors in the light. Sometimes it was purple, sometimes green, sometimes gray.
I won't mess with it beforehand, but when I get home from work I'm turning my room upside down to look for that ring. I have to find it.
And if it starts feeling too tight, I'll put it on my necklace so I don't risk losing it again. I'm not going through this shit a second time.
I know it's somewhere in my room- it slipped off my finger when I was digging for a clean pair of socks or trying to find my sneakers or something. All I know is I was wearing it and then I wasn't- I had it on the wrong hand because my hands were swollen (I've been retaining a lot of water), and when the swelling went down my ring fell off.
Also... It was the only piece of jewelry I owned that was worth anything. I paid $635 for it- it was white gold, had a special cut, and, for some reason, it cost more to NOT get the antique finish, which is weird. The stone was alexandrite, and I loved it because it changed colors in the light. Sometimes it was purple, sometimes green, sometimes gray.
I won't mess with it beforehand, but when I get home from work I'm turning my room upside down to look for that ring. I have to find it.
And if it starts feeling too tight, I'll put it on my necklace so I don't risk losing it again. I'm not going through this shit a second time.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
You know what made my day today?
I commented on a YouTube vlog and the guy thought it was funny!
This video popped up in my subscription box, so I watched. The comments fill up pretty quick, so if you don't feel like surfing through all that, I wrote:
"She was calm because if she'd shown any emotion the staples holding her face like that might've popped. Duh.
I was also excited that they used "Oh Children" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds in one of the scenes. I didn't really discover that song until recently but it's a favorite now. Especially the live version. So now younger people get to experience the greatness that is Nick Cave! Yay!
My first paycheck goes in my account tomorrow, so that's good. I can get my brother and my dad presents for Christmas, and make one last order from Aromaleigh ($35, that's what I've worked out), and still have some left (that wasn't there today) thanks to the money my Aunt Glenda sent as a Christmas present. I already know what I'm getting- a $30 gift card for my brother and a copy of Whiskey for the Holy Ghost by Mark Lanegan for my dad.
All in all it'll be less than my paycheck (which is $84, I got to check online!) and it'll be nice to have more than $10 in the bank, worrying about when I can get more in there. Plus, I get paid every other week. It won't be much but I'm talking to salons again so hopefully in the next month or so I'll have more money coming in and therefore a LOT less pressure.
It was a pretty good day.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch Huevos de Oro (Golden Balls!) one more time before putting it back in the mail tomorrow. The character is such an asshole and his dress sense is a lot like what happens when late-80's Miami throws up on someone, but any movie where I get to see a mostly-naked Javier Bardem is fine by me! Seriously, half that movie is pretty much soft-core porn. There are not one but two three-way scenes. One (the first) is pretty tasteful and, you know, what you'd expect from a three-way, and the last one is fucking HILARIOUS. All I can say is, I knew Benicio Del Toro (yeah, he was in it, too- my lucky day!) was a freak! Between the slapping and the choking and the way he was ATTACKING that girl, not to mention his screaming ("GOOOO-ZAAAAA!!!" Which apparently translates to "Enjoy it", which... WTF?).
Well... I'd better get to bed soon. End stream-of-consciousness ramblings! Later!
This video popped up in my subscription box, so I watched. The comments fill up pretty quick, so if you don't feel like surfing through all that, I wrote:
"She was calm because if she'd shown any emotion the staples holding her face like that might've popped. Duh.
I was also excited that they used "Oh Children" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds in one of the scenes. I didn't really discover that song until recently but it's a favorite now. Especially the live version. So now younger people get to experience the greatness that is Nick Cave! Yay!
My first paycheck goes in my account tomorrow, so that's good. I can get my brother and my dad presents for Christmas, and make one last order from Aromaleigh ($35, that's what I've worked out), and still have some left (that wasn't there today) thanks to the money my Aunt Glenda sent as a Christmas present. I already know what I'm getting- a $30 gift card for my brother and a copy of Whiskey for the Holy Ghost by Mark Lanegan for my dad.
All in all it'll be less than my paycheck (which is $84, I got to check online!) and it'll be nice to have more than $10 in the bank, worrying about when I can get more in there. Plus, I get paid every other week. It won't be much but I'm talking to salons again so hopefully in the next month or so I'll have more money coming in and therefore a LOT less pressure.
It was a pretty good day.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch Huevos de Oro (Golden Balls!) one more time before putting it back in the mail tomorrow. The character is such an asshole and his dress sense is a lot like what happens when late-80's Miami throws up on someone, but any movie where I get to see a mostly-naked Javier Bardem is fine by me! Seriously, half that movie is pretty much soft-core porn. There are not one but two three-way scenes. One (the first) is pretty tasteful and, you know, what you'd expect from a three-way, and the last one is fucking HILARIOUS. All I can say is, I knew Benicio Del Toro (yeah, he was in it, too- my lucky day!) was a freak! Between the slapping and the choking and the way he was ATTACKING that girl, not to mention his screaming ("GOOOO-ZAAAAA!!!" Which apparently translates to "Enjoy it", which... WTF?).
Well... I'd better get to bed soon. End stream-of-consciousness ramblings! Later!
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I thought it was really cool, I made someone else at least smile. It always makes me happy when I do that.